Boundaries and Self-Preservation
and some recent comfort reads
Hello supporters! Let’s all just take care of ourselves, build our protective bubbles, and read whatever books bring us comfort and peace, shall we?? I’m sharing a bit about saying NO, as well as three reads from the past week that fully engaged and entertained me.
Saying NO NO NO NO
When we got the message stating the requirement for parent volunteers for the youngest’s basketball tournament this past weekend, my answer was NO. I am not selling tickets, I am not selling concessions, I am not baking for the bake sale, I am not setting up, I am not taking down, I am not even going to the tournament. I outright refused. I declared this past Saturday a couch day to rest my persistently cranky foot, recalibrate my nervous system, and just BE.
My husband and daughter baked for the bake sale, my husband was at the tournament all day, watching and volunteering, and I had my couch day. I mean, a couch day in which I also did all of the house tidying and laundry and mending and such, but I was home and had many 30 minute intervals on the couch with my foot up.
Only because I defied expectations and said no. Because my family understood I needed it more than anything.
On Friday at the conference I attended, I said that I would absolutely love to be the GSA advisor, but only if it could be during the school day, during contract hours - otherwise no. I didn’t attend a meeting after school last week but instead fulfilled the obligation asynchronously. I didn’t return birthday phone calls I didn’t have the time or capacity for.
I just straight-up didn’t do things.
Today I am not reading the news or analysis or listening to political podcasts or watching any election coverage until later in the evening just to quickly check in. I am not engaging in discourse about it for longer than I am comfortable with. I am refusing to catastrophize about possible outcomes.
I did all that before. It did not serve me, and I know better than to go there again.
I voted already. I am a good citizen. I am a good mother. Even when I say no and won’t engage with the madness.
Enough can simply be enough, my friends. Once you have voted, I am sure you have already done enough. You can rest. And say no. And turn off the noise. And take to your couch or your bed and watch or read and soothe yourself. If you have children, just make sure there is sustenance available and they’re safe and loved. That’s enough.
It’s okay.
